So at our quarterly meeting at work yesterday we opened with a talk presented by one of our colleagues. And the focus was on “motivation”. What motivates you? How do we as individuals stay motivated? Some people say that getting paid every month motivates them but what happens after pay day??? Or what if pay day comes late? Are we going to go in depression???
So as i mentioned in my previous post, Shaheed and I always need to make sure that we’re on the same page where school is concerned so that we don’t miss anything (I’ve got the memory of a gold fish).
It can become quite a challenge having to remember everything – school excursions, assessments, collecting lists, assignments, etc (we have sticky notes, calenders and letters all over the fridge).
One of the things I found recently that really helps me to stay on top of things is this super cool diary from www.momdiary.co.za It literally covers everything that you could possibly think of…i love it! It helps me keep up with school times, extra murals, birthdays etc.
Apart from school, there’s so many other things that one needs to remember. Mommy’s and Daddy’s brains work differently by nature. I think school and shopping lists, lunches and suppers. He thinks about everything but the above.
Another thing i can’t do without is a shopping list. I cannot shop without a shopping list! I go completely blank in the shop and i go home with less than half of the groceries that i was meant to buy. So i cannot do without my magnetic shopping list (available at Crazy Store for cheap cheap) that stays on the fridge and i jot down as i go about the month. If i run out, i write down immediately else i’ll forget. When i go to the shop i simply tear off the list and pop in my bag. I’ve tried using the memo on my phone but having to hold a phone and push a trolley doesn’t work for me…the paper is just simpler…besides i like writing 🙂
Let me know what are some of the things that assists you in being more organised and on top of things.
Lots of love💗
In our home, routine is very important. It’s the one thing we don’t compromise on. Bed time is on point , always.
Between 19h30 & 20h00 our kids are fast asleep. It’s always been this way, since Raziah started crèche 9 years ago and then 5 years later when Ubayd was born, he fell into that same routine, and it works well for us Alhamdulilaah.
The thing is, we found that when we have consistent house rules and expectations that is clearly communicated and understood by our children, we’ve created an environment that has become somewhat predictable. Structure is advantageous for our entire family, especially our ADHDer. The kids know what to expect when we get home:
- 30 min downtime of their choice ie TV, play, etc
- Homework for Raziah (one of us help her and he other occupies Ubayd)
- Supper (I try using the oven, steamer and microwave for most things so that while that’s going, I can focus my attention on the kids and other things – multitask for the win!)
- Sometimes the homework’s a bit much so Bath and supper is breaktime and then we carry on with homework/studying
- Revise Raziahs Qur’an lesson for the next day. Ubayd says Arabic alphabet, 5 pillars, recitations .
- TV or story telling if there’s excess time
Having routine doesn’t mean that our evenings are smooth sailing, it just means that there’s a bit more structure. We are still faced with the challenge of playing referee and reiterating (I don’t think this will ever end –my mom still repeats herself with me lol) but having a structured evening helps a great deal Alhamdulilaah. I cannot imagine having to “wing it” every night and having different bed times every night, I just couldn’t do that.
When they’re asleep, I can carry on with chores and prep for the next day which is vital for me as our mornings are a bit crazy
sometimes most times. Mornings are almost always a rush… So i’ll put our clothes ready for the next day and pack lunches partially (like yoghurts, fruit, nuts, etc) and then pop in the fresh stuff the next morning.
The fact that Shaheed and I can then catch up on stuff, just chill, spend QT (very important) and have uninterrupted conversations and drink tea in peace, is bliss. We also need to make sure that we’re on the same page where school things is concerned (headache!). But that’s a whole blog on it’s own which ill post soon 🙂
On the odd night (which is very seldom) life happens (I’m really tired or not well or…or…or) and things don’t go accordingly, and that’s okay because we are imperfect aiming toward better habits (not perfection).
Let me know what your routines are and what works for your family.
Until next time 💛
Today was special…
Just 5 minutes out of the entire day made it that special. I let the kids listen to my heartbeat…💓
Would you believe if I told you how this small act illuminated their faces as well as mine. They had broad smiles after I gently pressed their ears, one by one, against my chest…the funny thing is, neither of them knew that the other child also got a chance to hear mommys heartbeat, yet their reactions were exactly the same.
I first went to Ubayd and said to him “come listen to mommy’s heart beat for you”. Then gently pressed his one ear against my chest and closed his other ear so that he hears nothing but my heartbeat. He smiled with much excitement and then said “just wait there mommy”. Then he ran 3 laps up and down the room and said to me “now come listen to mine beat faster”.
Then I went to Raziah and did the exact same thing. Her reaction was exactly the same as Ubayds. She ran up and down the stairs a couple of times and then told me “listen to my heart beating fast and loud”.
Subhanallah at that moment I felt so proud to be their mother.
This moment for me was so special and meant something so deep. It made them feel that they matter, because mommy’s heart beats for them.
It reminded me that I was hand-picked by Allah to mother these precious children. It reminded me that I am special to them and that they depend on me with their entire being. It reminded me that I serve a purpose, that I am unique, and that my heart is still beating because Allah has a plan for me.
All my love
I recently attended a workshop called “Reclaim your true self” which focused on self-healing by method of conscious breathing techniques and positive affirmations.
I enjoyed this class so much. I think I discovered the “therapist in me” lol. We all have a therapeutic quality within us. It is a quality that sometimes someone else sees but you are not aware of.
It happened so, that everyone in the room was to stand up from their chair and go and sit next to a random person. Nothing happens by chance. So I ended up next to this beautiful soul Roshan, who is such a humble and soft-hearted woman but at the same time she possessed so much strength. She was not aware of the inspiring effect she had on me.
We had to share our most painful experiences and our most proud moments, and listening to her stories was truly inspirational and reminded me of how grateful I should be for all the blessings that have been showered upon me despite the hardships. There is always someone facing a bigger challenge than I am. At the end she told me that I speak confidently and proudly, something which I was not aware of, but felt good to hear and hopefully I inspired her in some way. I always thought myself to be anti-social and awkward when speaking to people outside of my circle.
The one speaker focused for a little bit on how sound has soothing effects and can put one in a relaxed state of mind. She used an example of the melodious sound of a qāriʾ (someone who recites the Qur’an with correct pronunciation & melodiously). I can attest that listening to the recitation of a qāriʾ when driving, cooking or at any given time, indeed puts one in a state of relaxation, it triggers the heart and soul.
One of the speakers, Ebrahim Mongratie focused on breathing and affirmations. He has written an amazing book called “An enlightened path to self-discovery”. Do yourself a favour and get a copy of this motivational book.
So we focused on how one can use positive affirmations to self-heal. We do not realize that everything we do and say to ourselves is an affirmation, and most of the time we are consumed in negative affirmations. I have a bad habit of saying “I’m so stupid” when I’ve erred. This unconsciously has an effect on the subconscious mind in that it sits there and unknowingly it breaks down ones self-confidence. Whereas if I say “I’ve made an honest mistake” I affirm that I have erred but that it was just that…an err, so as to not attack myself and be hard on myself.
One of the affirmations that I really love, that was shared at the workshop is saying to one’s self “I am a unique woman and I am valuable”. The more I say this and the more I listen and take in what I am saying, I feel happy, I feel content with who I am and where I am. I think of all the things I am…a wife, a mother, a sister a daughter and how I add value to the lives of my husband, children, parents and sibling.
Another one was “I love myself more and more each day”. One can look at affirmations from various perspectives, the effect that it has on you depends on how you choose to interpret what you are saying to yourself. If I love myself first, I put my well-being first and in this way, I can filter that love and positive energy through to my children, spouse and everyone else around me.
I find that the following affirmations have a positive effect on me as well. Feel free to use them on yourself. Place your right hand on your heart, feel your heartbeat, lift your left hand, palm facing forward (i learnt this at the workshop too) and say to yourself:
Share some of your affirmations with me in the comments section ♥
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Love & Light
This morning I got the shock of my life (i might be exaggerating yes) which made me realize again why Ubayd, at 5 years old is, and will still be (for a very long time) in a car seat. It also reminded me of the importance of being strapped up in the car.
As I’m driving to school, the car in front of me traps dead breaks causing me to swerve out the way and then also hit the breaks hard. Next thing i know, Ubayd is squashed up against the back of the passenger seat and all i see is the car seat (sounds funny now when i picture it but wasn’t funny at the time). He was in his seat, but not buckled.
I must admit, I had a rough morning with the kids, playing referee and being on repeat mode as usual…have you brushed your teeth? Have you done this have you done that and so on…that’s a typical morning for me. And once in the car, about to drive…”Mommy i forgot my jacket” or “Mommy i forgot my head band”. Back in the house, setting me back another 2 minutes or so. But i love it, i love every bit of madness and scolding because I chose to have them.
Anyway, getting back to the point. So yes, it was my fault that I hadn’t secured him in his seat, but i was in a hurry so i asked him to DIY. He is 5 years old, not 2. But yes, kids will be kids and it’ll teach me to rather be safe and double check, than to rush off in an attempt to get to work and school on time.
Raziah is an awesome big sister so she quickly helped him up. As much as they grill my cheese some mornings (and they grill it well), they are so adorable and i wouldn’t have it any other way.
Mommies make sure the kids are secured in the car, things happen in the blink of an eye and then there’s no turning back. Remember, they are precious cargo.
Until next time
I’ve never been one to make a fuss and go big on my birthday. I have no expectations of gifts and surprises. However, i am always being spoiled utterly rotten by loved ones. I feel that my presence on earth and being with my loved ones, having what I need and what I want is the biggest gift anyone can ask for.
Being blessed with having my mother in my life is an extra bonus. Birthdays is so much more than gifts and cake, it is a day to reflect…on this very day, many years ago my mother, my rock, my pillar of strength birthed me. She suffered immense pain and difficulty bringing me into this world. May Allah bestow His choicest blessings upon her and grant her all that is good. On this day, many years ago, I was given the gift of life that I so often take for granted amongst other things.
We are always on a journey and we are always learning new things, and I have come to learn that a birthday is not just a birthday. It is indeed a day of celebration. Celebrating life and being thankful to Allah swt for giving us the gift of life. For blessing us with caring, good hearted friends and family. I am overwhelmed with all of the beautiful duahs (prayers) that were made for me today, May the Almighty accept each and every good duah.
Guys, remember…make duah for your mother on your birthday. As it is because of her that you are here today Alhamdulillah.
Until next time…
So I’m trying to the best of my ability to practise a healthy, yet balanced lifestyle and I tell you it is not easy. It takes much self motivation and dedication.
Yes, we all know consistency is key, but to practise self discipline in order to be consistent can become quite challenging… I’m slowly changing my day to day eating habits. I try not to consume starch and I’ve cut down on sugar. I have two or three cups of coffee for the week, which is quite a big deal for me because I have a soft spot for good coffee…I am cutting down, not cutting out (yet) 🙂
I take the stairs up and down at work (6 flights) and I try doing an 8-10 min workout when I get home…depends on energy levels. However I do find that I feel more energised after a good workout.
Fast forward to the weekend! I love that on a weekend there is a bit more flexibility and we are not routine-stricken. I can split my time so that I get to spend quality time with my children and hubby and also with my mum and sister. Saturdays is about taking the kids to the park or the beach and Sunday mornings we try to fit in some girly time so mum, sis and I will take a brisk walk somewhere and then do a healthy breakfast together and have a good catch up session.
And as I continue on this journey that i find myself on, I’ve also become more aware that my body and soul has been gifted to me as an amaanat (something I have been entrusted with) from Allah and it is my responsibility to take care of it to the best of my ability. And as I feed my body with good food and cleanse it with water, I also need to feed my heart and cleanse my soul with the remembrance of my creator.
Until next time
In Cape Town there seems to be few support groups for ADHD sufferers or parents of ADHD children. I find that to be quite disappointing, as i one is then forced to rely on the internet. My 8 year old daughter Raziah was diagnosed in August of 2015 and since then and way before the diagnosis even, it’s been a rollercoaster ride for us with endless challenges.
Emotions all over the place…eveything is in extreme quantities. Overly happy or Overly, sobbingly sad. Overly Angry or overly gentle. But beyond all of this it saddens me that she is not able to always be in the driver’s seat of her emotions and that as frustrating and tiring as it is for myself and hubby, we try to bear in mind that it is also tiring and frustrating for her.
We are so blessed to have her in our lives. She’s such a bright spark at school and madressah, she produces outstanding results and makes us proud, which is the reason we decided to stop the medication as she does not have any learning difficulties alhamdulilaah.
However, life outside of school is challenging for both her and us. The mood swings are never-ending…you never know if it’s okay to hold her, smile at her, speak to her…you just never know. But as we learn more and more about the disorder, we understand that it is as frustrating for her as it is for us. We’re trying to understand how her overactive mind works and we apply a different approach with her as opposed to our son. We tackle each day as it comes. We do not speak ahead of time, even though we try to plan ahead.
Not every day is rosy, believe me, most of our mornings start of with a bang! But things have become a bit less complexed. I’ve learnt that at the end of the day, we are all uniquely created and the sooner we realise this and accept this, the better. We learn to be more tolerant and respectful toward each other and love each other for who we are. We embrace the good with the bad, and we speak and act consciously.
This week has been a good one thus far alhamdulilaah, I’m embracing it whole heartedly and enjoying every moment with both of our kids.
Remember, kids are little blessings from Allah swt and we should rear them to the best of our ability.
Share some of your experiences and tips with me!
♥Until next time In Shaa Allah…